Never enough time.

After a fantastic holiday luncheon, my bosses gave me a Target gift card, which allowed me to buy a couple of things I've had my eye on for quite a while.  I picked up Call of Duty: Black Ops for the PS3, along with the Scott Pilgrim Blu-ray.  Now, all I need is more time...  There is just never enough of that, and I've got plenty of things I want to do.  I've been lax on blogging, mostly because much of my time has been occupied with work (both the desk job and some freelance assignments) and home-life.  I'm still chugging away through the new Tom Clancy book, Dead or Alive, and enjoying it tremendously.  I'm not just finding enough time to get through Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood, and the list of games I want to play is piling up.  I'd like to get back into The Sims 3, and crack open Uncharted 2.  There's a lot of movies that need watching, too, and plenty of box-sets.  Not to mention all the crap on DVR that's been piling up... The wife and I watched The A-Team last night.  I had seen this one in theaters over the summer and really liked it; certainly one of the better adaptation/remakes to come along in a long while and it had the same sense of fun I remember from the TV series as a kid.  The disc had an extended cut on it, but I honestly don't think it added much in terms of content over the theatrical version (thankfully included on the disc, as well).  There were only a couple minor additions, all of them throwaway scenes, and certainly nothing groundbreaking or truly worthwhile.  Still, it's a fun movie and worth a watch.

The long and short of it is, I just need a vacation.  I'm hoping the upcoming holiday break can provide me with some much need relaxation, and time so I can pursue some of the things I want to do, rather than all the things I have to do.  Beyond that, the more bogged down I get with the office job (just another one of those many things I have to do), the more I realize how much I miss writing and how far away I am from doing what I truly want to do.  I've never wanted the life a desk jockey, or at least not like this.  I want to be telling stories, engaging my mind, building worlds that draw in readers, making them question things or at least be entertained or informed.  I've been crafting a novel for years, in fits and starts, hitting dead ends and starting over.  Damn near a decade, now that I stop to think about it.  There have been other stories that came and went, but always this one I return to, always lurking in my mind, haunting me.  It's a story I cannot let go of, and it is perpetually the one that got away.  The more I dwell on it, the deeper it grows, and those dead ends that once confounded me open themselves up towards resolution, and I grow closer to the solutions, the answers.  But I'm not writing any of it, damn it.  I should be, I need to be.  There's umpteen scattered drafts lost to the ether, as I grew frustrated and deleted them, started over and deleted them, and started again.  But I think I have the key now.  I just don't have the time.

Time is a bastardly thing, wasting away.

Michael Patrick Hicks

Michael Patrick Hicks is the author of the science fiction novels Convergence, an Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award 2013 Quarter-Finalist, and Emergence. His work has appeared in several anthologies, and he has written for the websites Graphic Novel Reporter and Audiobook Reviewer. In between compulsively buying books and adding titles that he does not have time for to his Netflix queue, he is hard at work on his next story.

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