After a fantastic holiday luncheon, my bosses gave me a Target gift card, which allowed me to buy a couple of things I've had my eye on for quite a while. I picked up Call of Duty: Black Ops for the PS3, along with the Scott Pilgrim Blu-ray. Now, all I need is more time... There is just never enough of that, and I've got plenty of things I want to do. I've been lax on blogging, mostly because much of my time has been occupied with work (both the desk job and some freelance assignments) and home-life. I'm still chugging away through the new Tom Clancy book, Dead or Alive, and enjoying it tremendously. I'm not just finding enough time to get through Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood, and the list of games I want to play is piling up. I'd like to get back into The Sims 3, and crack open Uncharted 2. There's a lot of movies that need watching, too, and plenty of box-sets. Not to mention all the crap on DVR that's been piling up... The wife and I watched The A-Team last night. I had seen this one in theaters over the summer and really liked it; certainly one of the better adaptation/remakes to come along in a long while and it had the same sense of fun I remember from the TV series as a kid. The disc had an extended cut on it, but I honestly don't think it added much in terms of content over the theatrical version (thankfully included on the disc, as well). There were only a couple minor additions, all of them throwaway scenes, and certainly nothing groundbreaking or truly worthwhile. Still, it's a fun movie and worth a watch.
The long and short of it is, I just need a vacation. I'm hoping the upcoming holiday break can provide me with some much need relaxation, and time so I can pursue some of the things I want to do, rather than all the things I have to do. Beyond that, the more bogged down I get with the office job (just another one of those many things I have to do), the more I realize how much I miss writing and how far away I am from doing what I truly want to do. I've never wanted the life a desk jockey, or at least not like this. I want to be telling stories, engaging my mind, building worlds that draw in readers, making them question things or at least be entertained or informed. I've been crafting a novel for years, in fits and starts, hitting dead ends and starting over. Damn near a decade, now that I stop to think about it. There have been other stories that came and went, but always this one I return to, always lurking in my mind, haunting me. It's a story I cannot let go of, and it is perpetually the one that got away. The more I dwell on it, the deeper it grows, and those dead ends that once confounded me open themselves up towards resolution, and I grow closer to the solutions, the answers. But I'm not writing any of it, damn it. I should be, I need to be. There's umpteen scattered drafts lost to the ether, as I grew frustrated and deleted them, started over and deleted them, and started again. But I think I have the key now. I just don't have the time.
Time is a bastardly thing, wasting away.